You Might Think You've Tried Natural Deodorants...

...but you haven't tried the best plastic-free deodorant. That's right, I went there. This shit is not only free from notoriously toxic aluminum, it's way better for your skin. See, the usual active ingredient in natural deodorant - baking soda - is actually pretty rough on your dermis. Wanna learn how? Ok, but you gotta put on your chemistry hat.

Switch to a Deodorant that Doesn't Test on Animals

You fuckers all took high school chem, right? Right. You aren't idiots. pH is acidity. A pH of seven is neutral. A pH of 6, like a healthy human armpit, is slightly acidic. Baking soda's pH is nine, making it wayyy basic. (Just channel Anna Delvey for a second there.

The basic-ness of the baking soda is how it's effective: by turning your pits into a barren alkaline wasteland where your usual pit-funk bacteria can't live. BUT, and here's the but: baking soda is super sweat-soluble, so it gets sucked right down into your pores and can seriously screw with your personal biota.

Stay Dry Without Fucking Shit Up

Stank Pits Natural Deodorant employs magnesium hydroxide: it's a base like baking soda, but it won't throw off your personal ecosystem - or go running at the first sign of sweat. It'll stay right where you fucking left it.

We rounded shit out with some nourishing butters and waxes for a firm but slippy texture, some super absorbent clay and arrowroot starch, odor-trapping zinc ricinoleate, and - of course - a refreshing blend of natural essential oils to give you a little lift.

So what are you waiting for? Uncap this bish and introduce your pits to the calm, collected magic of plastic-free deodorant that won't disrupt your shit.