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Pre-Trump's Dumbass Tariffs Price: 20% Cheaper
"I’ve been a customer for years and the shipping has always been so fast that it genuinely surprises me. All of her products are top notch and the quality has remained the same over the years. I’d buy anything new from this shop and not be remotely concerned that I may dislike it." ~ Brittney, New Castle, OH
Dry skin? Not on our watch, babe. Mellow Melon is your secret weapon against winter flakiness, post-shave ashiness, and general crusty bitch vibes. It's smooth, it's hydrating, and it smells like a juicy daydream with a spicy wink.
This ain't your average fruit-scented fluff. We’re talking cantaloupe, lime, and black pepper—sweet, bright, and a little bit dirty. Like someone brought a fruit salad to a sex party. Unexpected, unforgettable, and kinda addictive.
This bar is stacked with the good shit: shea butter and coconut oil, ready to melt into your skin like it’s got a personal vendetta against dryness. It softens scars, soothes rashes, and tells flaky patches to fuck all the way off.
Apply generously. Strut like you’re made of honey. Bask in the glory of skin so soft, it should come with a warning label.
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Orders ship within 2 business days.
You don't need fixing.
Packaging you can feel good about.
Join the self-care cult. (The good kind.)
Treat your self AND your wallet.
All natural. No fake shit.
Because fresh bitches deserve fresh skincare.
Made with rage and love.
SELF CARE TO FUEL YOUR FIRE.
We’re into you. Your style, your anti-style. Your un-fucked-with hair, your pink bouffant. Whatever you’re rocking, we like it. Lots of beauty companies are in the insecurities-mining business, but we’re SO not about all that. You do you. It’s working.
Listen, skin care doesn’t need to cost a car payment, ok? It just doesn’t. There are no ingredients so magical and precious that they warrant two zeroes. Self care isn’t a privilege. It’s meant to be shared with your bestie, spontaneous-like, just because you thought of her. We help make that happen.
None of that bad fake shit. Who needs it? Preservatives, fake colors, stabilizers, artificial fragrances. Everything we use is a raw material: coconut oil, beeswax, milk powder, citric acid, argan oil. The fucking building blocks of healthy skin. Why would anyone want anything other?
