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Pre-Trump's Dumbass Tariffs Price: 20% Cheaper
"Iāve been a customer for years and the shipping has always been so fast that it genuinely surprises me. All of her products are top notch and the quality has remained the same over the years. Iād buy anything new from this shop and not be remotely concerned that I may dislike it." ~ Brittney, New Castle, OH
Imagine the seductive scene: our sexy massage bar slowly melting on your partner's skin, igniting the flames of a face-melting fuckfest. We're not here to play gamesāwhen it comes to setting the mood, nothing screams "face-melting fucking" quite like a sensual massage.
ā¢ Pure-Ass Natural Pleasure: Badgers like us know how to do massages right, and that's why we've crafted this massage bar with 100% pure-ass natural skincare goodness. We take your pleasure seriously, so get ready to indulge in a sensory journey like no other.
ā¢ Smells like a Tropical Freaking Paradise: This massage bar boasts a delightful blend of vanilla, rose, and ginger extracts, leaving you smelling like Tahitian hotel bubble bath. Trust us, there's nothing better than smelling irresistibly enticing.
ā¢ Portable Luxury: With its compact size, our massage bar is your travel-friendly companion. Slip it into your bag and enjoy nourished skin on the go, without the hassle of leaky bottles or airport security drama.
So unwrap this shit and slather yourself the fuck up. You're welcome.
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Orders ship within 2 business days.
You don't need fixing.
Packaging you can feel good about.
Join the self-care cult. (The good kind.)
Treat your self AND your wallet.
All natural. No fake shit.
Because fresh bitches deserve fresh skincare.
Made with rage and love.
SELF CARE TO FUEL YOUR FIRE.
Weāre intoĀ you.Ā Your style, your anti-style. Your un-fucked-with hair, your pink bouffant. Whatever youāre rocking, we like it. Lots of beauty companies are in the insecurities-mining business, but weāre SO not about all that. You do you. Itās working.
Listen, skin care doesnāt need to cost a car payment, ok? It just doesnāt. There are no ingredients so magical and precious that they warrant two zeroes. Self care isnāt a privilege. Itās meant to be shared with your bestie, spontaneous-like, just because you thought of her. We help make that happen.
None of that bad fake shit. Who needs it? Preservatives, fake colors, stabilizers, artificial fragrances. Everything we use is a raw material: coconut oil, beeswax, milk powder, citric acid, argan oil. The fucking building blocks of healthy skin. Why would anyone want anything other?
