Instant MILF Milk Bath.

A Funny MILF Gift to Help Her Say "Sayonara, Ass Wrinkles."

Let's face it, ass wrinkles, stretch marks, and cellulite can be a real buzzkill. We can't promise to eradicate them entirely (we only wish we had that power), but we can at least help you relax to the point where you don't give a fuck! Embrace a little humor at bath time with this oatmeal bath packet.

Ass-Smoothing Awesomeness: The Benefits of Oatmeal.

Prepare for some serious bathing magic. This funny MILF gift is more than just warm and cozy; it's a skin-loving superhero. With ground oatmeal to kick ass inflammation, baking soda to soften your water to perfection, and the dynamic duo of carrot seed oil and chamomile extract known for their ass-smoothing superpowers, your skin will thank you for this luxurious treat. Plus, we've added green tea extract for a boost of antioxidants and lavender for an aroma that will make your bathroom smell like a goddamn oasis.

Skin Softening Bath Soak Magic.

Let's talk about legs, bitches. Our Instant MILF Milk Bath Soak contains the secret weapon of milk powder, which will transform your tired, dull legs into two sticks of sweet-ass butter. Get ready to be amazed by the nourishing power of milk powder and oatmeal as they hydrate and pamper your skin like never before. You'll step out of that tub feeling like a million bucks.

Scrub a dub dub, motherfucker.

Instant MILF Milk Bath.

Regular price $10.99
Unit price
per

Sweet, earthy carrot buoyed by lavender and fresh chamomile.

Mild
Healing
Antioxidant Rich
Fast Shipping
Eco Friendly
Small Batch

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Texture: Rich and creamy when added to hot bath water.

Size: Holds about 4 ounces / 113.4 grams of product by volume

Packaging: Eco friendly pouch made from compostable rice paper

Free shipping on orders over $50

Applies to all domestic orders. Shipments are fully tracked and arrive between 7-10 business days from the date of purchase.

Local pickup available

You can see our current business hours right here. We'll email you when your order is ready to pick up!

Complete your order

A Funny MILF Gift to Help Her Say "Sayonara, Ass Wrinkles."

Let's face it, ass wrinkles, stretch marks, and cellulite can be a real buzzkill. We can't promise to eradicate them entirely (we only wish we had that power), but we can at least help you relax to the point where you don't give a fuck! Embrace a little humor at bath time with this oatmeal bath packet.

Ass-Smoothing Awesomeness: The Benefits of Oatmeal.

Prepare for some serious bathing magic. This funny MILF gift is more than just warm and cozy; it's a skin-loving superhero. With ground oatmeal to kick ass inflammation, baking soda to soften your water to perfection, and the dynamic duo of carrot seed oil and chamomile extract known for their ass-smoothing superpowers, your skin will thank you for this luxurious treat. Plus, we've added green tea extract for a boost of antioxidants and lavender for an aroma that will make your bathroom smell like a goddamn oasis.

Skin Softening Bath Soak Magic.

Let's talk about legs, bitches. Our Instant MILF Milk Bath Soak contains the secret weapon of milk powder, which will transform your tired, dull legs into two sticks of sweet-ass butter. Get ready to be amazed by the nourishing power of milk powder and oatmeal as they hydrate and pamper your skin like never before. You'll step out of that tub feeling like a million bucks.

Scrub a dub dub, motherfucker.

Eco-friendly

Cruelty-free products. Zero waste packaging & shipping.

Woman-owned

100% made by women from real, whole ingredients.

Fast Shipping

All orders ship within 2 business days. Domestic shipping is free $50+.

Natural self care products to fuel your fire.

Self Care to Fuel Your Fire.

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What our customers say

Jeanine

First time ordering and I absolutely love this scrub! I used it and my face was brighter and felt so soft after! I will be ordering this product again as well as many of the others!

Jess

The Magnesium Deodorant is a must-have for anyone with sensitive skin! It’s completely baking soda-free, yet still keeps me fresh all day without irritation. The natural formula is gentle but effective, and I love that it’s eco-friendly with zero waste packaging. It glides on smoothly, absorbs well, and has a clean, refreshing feel. If you’re looking for a natural deodorant that actually works without compromising on sustainability, this is the ONE!

Brittney

Last minute buy that shipped extremely fast a week before Christmas. I’ve been a customer of this seller for several years and the shipping has always been so fast that it genuinely surprises me. All of her products are top notch and the quality has remained the same over the years. I’d buy anything new from this shop and not be remotely concerned that I may dislike it.

Samantha

I got this on a whim but I'm so glad I did. I love the spiked apple cider, it's so good, and it's honestly probably one of the best lip balms I've used in a long time, my lips don't dry out nearly as fast after using this one in comparison to others I've used in the past. Absolutely love it, highly recommend.

Hannah

Fuck Off Bugs is a great product. I am very prone to mosquito bites, but since using this I've only had 2. The smell is strong like all bug repellents, but not unpleasant. It's not heavy on the skin. It doesn't upset my sensitive skin. Overall it's A+