Mellow Melon Lotion Bar.
Mellow Melon Lotion Bar.
994 in stock
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Size: Approximately 2 5/8" inches across and 1.5 oz
Smells like: Juicy melon blended with bright lime and spicy black pepper,
Lotion bar ingredients: Coconut oil, shea butter, beeswax, mica, cantaloupe extract, lime essential oil, black pepper essential oil.
A Melon Body Lotion Bar to Banish Dry Skin.
Raise your hand if you're on a mission to kick dry skin's scaly ass. We feel you, my bitch. Dealing with rough and reptilian dry skin is no joke. It's time to stand together in solidarity against those ruthless winter winds that suck the joy out of life and leave your skin feeling fucking parched.
• Exotic and Spicy Sensation: This natural lotion bar is scented with a unique blend of cantaloupe, lime, and black pepper. It's like an exotic adventure with a little bit of spicy kick, just like the feeling after a mind-blowing orgasm. It's the perfect scent to elevate your skincare routine.
• Pure-Ass Nourishment for Your Skin: Let this lotion bar work its magic and nourish the fuck out of your skin. Packed with all-natural coconut oil and shea butter, this is some next-level voodoo black magic for your skin. Say goodbye to wrinkles, scars, rashes, burns, and insect bites. Shea butter will shut that shit down.
Warning: Excessive awesomeness may occur upon use. Apply liberally and embrace the wonders of hydrated skin.







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
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Delightful gifts for your favorite misanthrope.
As seen in...
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How fast do you ship?
Orders ship within two business days.
How much does shipping cost?
Gift sets always ship for free, so there's that.
For all other items, we use calculated shipping. Domestic orders generally cost between $3- $7 to ship, depending on zip code and what you order.
If you're in a hurry, we offer expedited shipping as well. 💨
Do you offer returns?
Yup! The only caveats are, the item has to be unused, and it's gotta make it back to us in good shape. Please get in touch within seven days of receiving your order if you'd like to return an item.
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