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Instant MILF Milk Bath.
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MILF mode: activated. This silky soak firms, soothes, and says fuck off to fine lines with green tea, carrot seed & chamomile magic. Skin so soft it might start an OnlyFans. Anti-aging? More like pro-hotness.
Real Customers Say...
"I’ve been a customer for years and the shipping has always been so fast that it genuinely surprises me. All of her products are top notch and the quality has remained the same over the years. I’d buy anything new from this shop and not be remotely concerned that I may dislike it." ~ Brittney, New Castle, OH
Texture: Rich and creamy when added to hot bath water.
Size: Holds about 4 ounces / 113.4 grams of product by volume
Packaging: Eco friendly pouch made from compostable rice paper
A Funny MILF Gift to Help Her Say "Sayonara, Ass Wrinkles."
Let's face it, ass wrinkles, stretch marks, and cellulite can be a real buzzkill. We can't promise to eradicate them entirely (we only wish we had that power), but we can at least help you relax to the point where you don't give a fuck! Embrace a little humor at bath time with this oatmeal bath packet.
Ass-Smoothing Awesomeness: The Benefits of Oatmeal.
Prepare for some serious bathing magic. This funny MILF gift is more than just warm and cozy; it's a skin-loving superhero. With ground oatmeal to kick ass inflammation, baking soda to soften your water to perfection, and the dynamic duo of carrot seed oil and chamomile extract known for their ass-smoothing superpowers, your skin will thank you for this luxurious treat. Plus, we've added green tea extract for a boost of antioxidants and lavender for an aroma that will make your bathroom smell like a goddamn oasis.
Skin Softening Bath Soak Magic.
Let's talk about legs, bitches. Our Instant MILF Milk Bath Soak contains the secret weapon of milk powder, which will transform your tired, dull legs into two sticks of sweet-ass butter. Get ready to be amazed by the nourishing power of milk powder and oatmeal as they hydrate and pamper your skin like never before. You'll step out of that tub feeling like a million bucks.
Scrub a dub dub, motherfucker.
Milk powder, cornstarch, colloidal oatmeal, sodium bicarbonate, chamomile powder, green tea extract, lavender essential oil, chamomile extract, carrot seed extract.
Empty packet into hot bath water and swish to combine. Then step in, and soak.
How fast do you ship?
Orders ship within 1-2 business days.
How much does shipping cost?
Gift sets always ship for free, so there's that.
For all other items, we use calculated shipping. Domestic orders generally cost between $3- $7 to ship, depending on zip code and what you order.
If you're in a hurry, we offer expedited shipping as well. 💨
Do you offer returns?
Yup! The only caveats are, the item has to be unused, and it's gotta make it back to us in good shape. Please get in touch within seven days of receiving your order if you'd like to return an item.
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You don't need fixing.
Packaging you can feel good about.
Join the self-care cult. (The good kind.)
Treat your self AND your wallet.
All natural. No fake shit.
Because fresh bitches deserve fresh skincare.
Made with rage and love.
SELF CARE TO FUEL YOUR FIRE.
Why Our Skincare is Different (and Better).
🔥 Body positive 🔥
We’re into you. Your style, your anti-style. Your un-fucked-with hair, your pink bouffant. Whatever you’re rocking, we like it. Lots of beauty companies are in the insecurities-mining business, but we’re SO not about all that. You do you. It’s working.
🔥 Accessible 🔥
Listen, skin care doesn’t need to cost a car payment, ok? It just doesn’t. There are no ingredients so magical and precious that they warrant two zeroes. Self care isn’t a privilege. It’s meant to be shared with your bestie, spontaneous-like, just because you thought of her. We help make that happen.
🔥 All good shit 🔥
None of that bad fake shit. Who needs it? Preservatives, fake colors, stabilizers, artificial fragrances. Everything we use is a raw material: coconut oil, beeswax, milk powder, citric acid, argan oil. The fucking building blocks of healthy skin. Why would anyone want anything other?
Holy Heck, We've Been Featured!
DON'T STOP THE PARTY, YOU'RE JUST GETTING STARTED!
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