Lascivious Lavender Body Butter.

Size: Approximately 2 1/2 inches tall by 2 inches wide, and 4 ounces by volume.

Smells like: Fresh lavender with a sweet touch of vanilla and honey.

Ingredients: Shea butter, coconut oil, sunflower oil, mica, lavender essential oil, vanilla extract, honey extract.

Nightstand Reality Check - Lose the Plastic Bottle.

It's high time you took a critical fucking look at that plastic cancer-in-a-bottle lotion sitting pretty on your nightstand. Sure, it smells good, just like a fucking Dorito factory. But let's be real here. If you slathered that shit on your skin, you'd turn orange and die. The big-ass mega corporate lotion dude loves stuffing all kinds of bad shit into what should be nourishing-ass lotion. Bad shit. Bad fake shit.

Here at Badgerface Beauty Supply, we say no to bad fake shit.

Natural Fucking Amazingness - Pure, Whole Ingredients.

Imagine a heavenly blend of shea nuts, coconuts, sunflowers, and pure-ass lavender essential oil. We've melted them down and whipped them to lofty perfection right here at Badgerface HQ. This natural fucking amazingness is your ticket to silky-smooth skin. Wave goodbye to those scaly spots and let that chemical-filled junk know it's not welcome anymore.

It looks like marshmallow fluff, but don't fucking eat it, ok? Fucking try and contain yourself.